Obligatory 'not a doctor but...'

I thought I had hemorrhoids. Fought it for a week or two. Went to the clinic. Turned out to be rectal strep. Antibiotics, goes away. I have a vasectomy. Talk to regular doc. Talk to urologist. Both are like 'nah fam, you good'. Week or two later girlfriend and I have some careful, condom using, sex. She gets a yeast infection. I get a strep infection.

In my testicles. The surgical incision had mostly, but apparently not completely healed, so I had some latent strep in the area which happily migrated into my testicles. They swell up to the size of decent oranges, I can barely stand/walk, fever, etc. I'm on 4-5 different flavors of antibiotics while they work to identify what's going on, I'm not allowed to go back to work for a week and have to take FMLA.

Also, she didn't get a yeast infection. You guessed it. Vaginal strep. Only hers did come with 'roids.

Near as we can tell, he mom had strep throat, she got it, she didn't realize it and uh, things were put in mouths, which led to the initial rectal strep, that I then gave back to her, and she gave back to me.

I called a full ceasefire on anything until we both finished our full antibiotics regiments because I was tired of passing around illness like idiots.

Also, in case you're wondering, rectal strep presents as watering itchy ass 24x7, with it eventually becoming inflamed and raw. And goldbond medicated powder will help a lot but won't, you know, fix it.