Time wise, I am very busy, typically on very focus intensive things. If I’m programming, I want to be programming, not stopping every 15min to try to manufacture an appropriate text. If I’m with my friends, I want to enjoy time with my friends, not text about memes or whatever. No activity is made better by being pulled away from it to write texts. That’s me though, I tend to prefer very focused activities, I’m sure others are different. And sure sparing a couple hours for a date can be tough, particularly if it doesn’t go anywhere, but I only really find someone that progresses to a date about once a month. I can spare that.

But I really don’t understand where you’re coming from. It seems like you have compatibility preferences, totally get that, I do to. But what difference does text vs date mean for that? You could find out a lot about them in 3 weeks of texting or 3 hours of meeting. It sounds like you are saying you actually can’t find that out in person, which doesn’t make sense to me so maybe I’m misunderstanding you. Also, I’m not sure what these are, but does it really take multiple weeks to ask about these things you’re so concerned about?

I had the exact opposite experience. I chatted for someone for about a month. We seemed like we had a lot in common and even had some sort of ‘deep conversation bonding’. When we met, it was clear her photos were from many years ago, she was probably lying about her age, and the way she talked about the future (something not obvious in text), it was very clear we were not a match. Now that was a waste of time. Because I had a big maybe floating around my life for about a month. On the other hand, a couple days of chatting and a meeting then finding out we don’t click, quickly moves me on to the next one.

It’s fine if you feel differently, you do you, but chatting for weeks isn’t objectively better nor is their something wrong with people/men who don’t want to like you seem to be inferring. When I think about saving time, the couple hours a month meeting people is nothing. It’s the months of matching and texting and meeting and dating and back again that is the time wasted, I want get through all that so I can delete these apps and be done with this. Putting off the meeting step so we can chat for weeks is the time that feels wasted to me.