Men

I get all of this.

I spent three years with a covert narcissist. I can summon up the last two years of our relationship in a single day's story.

We were speaking on the phone, quite happily, and my cell vibrated. Immediately she launched into her standard accusations of it being some other woman ("concubine" was her favorite word). Tired of this again I sent her a screencap of my notifications. It was just a news app.

But when her temper kicks in, it kicks in, and nothing will stop it. She poured out all her usual insults, telling me I'm garbage, human trash, worthless, etc. None of it phased me; I'd heard it all before (that should be a warning--getting so used to ugly insults they don't bug you). I told her so, and that ithese things wouldn't get under my skin. So she decided to escalate. She wanted a fight, you see. And she called me a pedo.

I lost my mind. Who wouldn't? Who calls someone something like that? I asked her what kind of psycho calls someone they claim to love something so foul. And that was my mistake--I gave her the reaction she wanted.

The rest of the day was full of her screaming at me to "humble myself" and apologize to her. To her. For the situation she'd created herself and worked hard to inflame. When I refused she said, "I've been talking to lots of men. You'd be shocked, and there's nothing you can do about it. So you'd better watch your ass because we're at a distance and I'm a beautiful woman."

I never forgot those words.

This happened in November, 2019, and I finally left her in August, 2021. I've often asked myself why I stayed after that day. She showed me everything in that afternoon--how quickly she'd escalate any meaningless thing, like a phone notification, into a conflagration, pour gas on it, and then claim she was the victim to anyone who'd listen. That pattern played out again and again.

I find myself not wanting to date. I've got options, but just don't care.

At times I feel pity for her, and at other times absolute hatred. The worst part were moments she'd almost see herself for what she is--confess to self sabotage, refer to her mind as a "deathcave" - - but when offered therapy would quickly decline and flip out.

She feels I betrayed her by leaving, having cried thag everyone always does, but never stops to ask herself why I did.

Anyway that's it. Just discovered this sub so it's nice to vent a little. Thank you.

/r/NarcissisticAbuse Thread