Men are romantics pretending to be realists; women are realists pretending to be romantics

This may be more of a generational gap but I can't really identify with your 'truisms'. If I ever have kids I don't want or expect to be the primary caregiver, my boyfriend has said many times he'd love to be a househusband so if we go down that road most likely he will.

I don't see men as disposable, but I'd argue that thinking about your own safety and survival is more of a class issue anyway: if you're living in a place where crime and poverty are common, or even being in a situation living paycheck to paycheck, I'd imagine you'd think about survival and safety a lot regardless of sex/gender.

For #3, eh again this must be a generational thing, I've never felt the need to focus all my energy/resources on kids and the idea of having kids has never affected my life decisions beyond using birth control. My mom was also sure to lay it on thick that I could never depend on a man for anything, men were irresponsible children at heart who only made promises to be broken (is this sounding familiar to anyone? ), so i had to depend on myself for protection/provision. I've worked and saved since I was 16 so I take that part pretty seriously at least.

The greater sex drive of a man might be what has him indulge in the more fantastical aspects of sex/love/relationships. Women, with lower sex drives (in general), are less likely to view their partners through the lens of romantic idealization.

I have my doubts about this. Sex =/= romantic love, I'm not sure how having a higher sex drive makes you more indulgent in romantic ideas. This might be due to different ideas of romantic love we each have so I'd need to know more about what you consider romantic vs sexual ideals.

Suffice it to say, I definitely see myself as "the romantic" and my wife (as well as many other women I know) as "the realist", and it leads to much frustration from all parties involved.

Without knowing more about your relational dynamics I'm not sure what to say, but personally I've noticed that younger people tend to be more idealistic than older folks, and people who've had a few LTRs tend to expect less from their partners. Sometimes that's a good thing ime.

/r/PurplePillDebate Thread