Well, she hasn't exactly gotten away. I don't know.

I can remember having a crush on her way back when we were little, but she was a couple years older and we didn't live anywhere near each other. As we got older we stayed in touch but the timing was never right. Either she'd have a boyfriend or I'd have a girlfriend. She moved out of state and got married, I stayed and got married as well.

We didn't talk much for a few years, but she came out to visit a friend and I went to see her. She knew I was going through a divorce, and she intimated that her marriage was struggling as well and cried on my shoulder. We just sat holding each other for a long time, not saying anything (nothing more happened physically, she was still married). We spent the last couple days hanging out and talking, and she was debating going back at all when I dropped her at the airport. She went back and we continued talking.

She was an absolute rock for me as my divorce finalized and I came to terms with all of that, and I was there for her as things went south in her own. So now we were both single but thousands of miles apart. Then, addiction. She was in and out of rehab and ended up moving in with her parents. I really felt like putting myself into the mix physically while she was fighting that would only hurt her chances at recovery, so we just kept it to the phone.

She met somebody else in that time and they quickly moved in together. She claims she sobered up but I have my doubts.

Now to the present. They've broken up, and we would spent hours on the phone at least a couple times a week. It seems we don't ever get tired of talking to each other, and we're cracking each other up the whole time. But again, addiction. She's been in and out of the hospital and is heading back to rehab again. I know she wants to be together, she's told me as much, but I have to think it's pretty unlikely we end up together. First and foremost I just want her to get well. I can support her from afar, but I know I'm not capable of supporting somebody in recovery.

She's the type that's terrified of being alone and can't stay single for more than a month or two. I'm so afraid she'll fall right back into the same loop instead of taking time for herself to recover. I just want her to get well, regardless of the role I end up having in her life.