When you've got that part down, draw a few reasonable boundaries.

Let's say you've got an attractive server at a pancake house. It's one thing to notice she's pretty--that's natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Want to ask her out? Get up your courage and ask.

Be courteous, though. Most guys don't need this reminder, yet some do: don't leer like a creep, accept "no" as an answer if she doesn't want a date, and don't talk about her legs when she's taking an order from the next table.

Equally important: if your buddy at the table crosses those lines then remind him where the social boundaries are. You can take a friendly bantering tone if you want. "Steve, don't be like that."

She's on the job so she can't say what she's thinking if she's offended. A few words like that mean a lot coming from you.