Men with an absent Father during childhood. How did it affect you?

As a single mother, with an 18 yr old son, this question hits close. My son's father left when I was five months pregnant and never made an effort to meet his child.

I taught my son to climb trees, play ball, took him golfing, and put him in tae kwon do with me until he was 12. When he wanted to try other sports, I was there for every practice and game, from baseball to basketball to football. I worked and went to school part time. I love my boy more than my life. We went on adventures, camping trips, and played board games with all his friends. The kids in the neighborhood always came to our house and still his friends call me 'mom'.

Despite the fact that I tried so hard to give him everything he might need, I know it wasn't enough. By the time he was 16, he was showing serious signs of anger and confusion over not having a father. I swallowed my pride and attempted to contact his father, but was ignored. A few months ago, my son found an obit while looking for the man who had abandoned him.

My smart, beautiful, kind, polite, and wonderful boy became an angry, lazy, slacker who lashes out at me. He stopped going to school and does a whole lot of nothing besides hang with friends and smoke pot. I figured that leading by example and him watching me struggle all these years to work and go to school while not getting child support or welfare would have taught him the meaning of fighting through the pain. But ... I just feel as though I have failed him. I feel his angst like a knife in the heart every single day.

I have faith in him. I love him more than he will ever know. But he is searching for something I can't help him with.

/r/AskMenOver30 Thread