Men with kids, what would you tell a man who was on the fence about having them?

For me, it came down to asking myself one simple question:

"Do I want to spend my life raising a child?"

I have zero interest in parenting. Zero interest in hanging out at birthday parties or backyard BBQs. When children come one way, I feel an urge to go another. In general, with rare exception, I do not find them delightful, interesting, or appealing.

Like a good scotch, I prefer to sip and enjoy their company occasionally. Not 24/7, 365 days a year, with no off switch or chance of escape. Friends with kids, nieces and nephews -- all give me a quick fix that satisfies any curiosity or desire to engage with kids. We laugh, have fun, share some nice moments. And then they (or I) are gone.

Maybe it's because I'm an introvert who places a high value on alone time and peace and quiet. Not sure. But I answered the question honestly over 20 years ago when my wife and I married. She felt the same. Now in our 50's and still no regrets.

If you answer "yes," then be sure your answer also includes the possibilities of raising a child with physical or mental impairments, divorce (or illness/death of your partner), and the understanding that you might do everything right and still have a kid that grows up to resent you, move away, or become a person that you do not understand or recognize.

If you want the job, take it because you want to do it and are in for the long haul -- 100% and nothing less.

/r/AskMen Thread