My ex wanted to have a threesome with one our lesbian friends. We had talked about it, but I really wasn’t feeling it. One night we went to go pick her up because she was having a hard time. I offered for her to live with us until she figured things out. We drank that night, I got tired. Asked my ex not to do anything because I wasn’t about it. She confirmed and said she wouldn’t. I passed out. They stayed up. Ex came to bed. Then got back up and they had sex in the next room while I slept. My ex then tried being all sexy and shit in the morning which was a tad bit odd. So I confronted her. She declined it. Didn’t sit right. We were all outside smoking and I saw hickeys on the girls neck. Confronted my ex again and she admitted to it. I was crushed. Blew up. Told that chick to get the fuck out of my house. My ex defended her the whole time lol. Took awhile to get over. After 3 and a half years together, she broke up with me because my depression was becoming too much for her. Two weeks after breaking up and still living together until she found a place, she said she was going to start dating people lol Then we got back together a few months after that and the first night we were back together, she went out with her sister and some guys who she didn’t tell me about until she left. Turns out he made a move on her and she slept in his bed. She swore nothing happened, but her track record said otherwise. Then the next day when she told me, she got upset that I was upset about him making a move and she defended him for six months until she broke up with me again after watching her kids during this pandemic. Quit two really good jobs to watch her kids for her. Then her sister moved down here and she dumped me on Father’s Day and kicked me out.
You could say I feel quite betrayed and fucked over. I’m super angry with her. But I still love and miss her every day. But I also have murder dreams about her which I’ve never had about anyone. I mostly blame myself for ignoring all the red flags and for forgiving her for so many things. She always lied to my face. Always puts me down. Yet I still want to be with her and work things out. Fucking crazy. I feel crazy