I've been struggling with SH and suicidal thoughts for years so I understand where you're coming from. Reaching out for help is important, and I'm proud that you did.

I may not know how you're feeling right now but try to take a deep breath and tell yourself positive affirmations that everything will be okay, everything will be just fine. You'll do great, you'll be fine, you'll be okay. Maybe not now, maybe later. Believe that you're stronger than what you're feeling right now. If you think of giving up, give yourself more chances to fight those feelings. You'll get through this, op. I believe in you.

Might not help, but I hope you'll always be okay <3