MERASMUS NEEDS YOUR HELP!!!

http://www.teamfortress.com/bloodmoney/

in 2014 he owed money to the japanese mafia, here are some amusing voice lines:

"Greetings mortals...and こんにちは! Yes, Merasmus is learning Japanese...in the likely event that he will have to beg for his life! Why? Well, therein lies a tale of horror! Short version: Merasmus owes $12,000 to the Japanese Mafia!"

"Do you know what's scarier than a spectral ghoul glimpsed on a moonlit night? The Japanese Mafia! They are not spectral! They are very real! And they are coming to break Merasmus' legs, unless I give them $12,000! Awooo! Aw aw awoo! Help me!"

"Bonzo, appear! Appear before us! Just try not to appear between the Japanese Mafia and the $12,000 I owe them! They will break all seventeen of your arms! "

"Here's a chilling Halloween tale: Once upon a time, an innocent evil wizard named Merasmus bought a circus for $12000, hoping to flip it and make a fortune! Alas, he did not have $12,000, but do you know who did? The Japanese Mafia! But, due to a language barrier, Merasmus was unclear about the frankly punitive interest rates! Welcome to my financial nightmare, mortals! Awwooo ho ho ho ho (crying)...what am I going to do..?"

"Attention: foolish mortals! If you see any Japanese people around, let Merasmus know! Because that is the Japanese Mafia! At best, they are here to break his legs! And that is the best-case scenario! It gets a lot, lot darker from there...a lot darker."

"Look at you! You're a veritable Murderers' Row of killers! I'll have my graveyard in no time! First, you get the graveyard! Then you get the customers! Then you get the $12,000 to pay back the Japanese Mafia! They burned Merasmus' apartment down! They're animals, mortals!"

"Just look at those souls of yours! Wasting away in those big, stupid bodies! Oh the things I could do with them! The only thing I can't do is pay off the Japanese Mafia with them. Ha ha! They made that very explicit...American currency only."

"Be afraid, mortals! Bonzo, the ancient Sumerian circus god, is coming! You know who's not scared of Bonza? The Japanese Mafia! They don't appear to be scared of anything. Except not getting the money I owe them. (nervously) And even that just seems to make them angry..."

http://www.teamfortress.com/gargoyles_and_gravel/

in gargoyles and gravel (2015) he owed money to the russian mafia, and they only added one voice line about it.

"Tonight the barriers are down! Between known and the unknown! The real and the unreal! The paid debts and the unpaid debts to the Russian Mafia! (cackling laughter) They put Merasmus in a trunk, mortal."

(not so) fun fact! 2015 was the last year we got a unique halloween update. the last 4 updates have been the exact same! even though tf2 is almost always on the top 10 most played games on steam, this is the best ol valve can shell out for. enjoy your once-a-year no weapons cosmetic update!

The last none reskin weapon update besides jungle inferno was december 22, 2014, close to 4 years ago! https://wiki.teamfortress.com/wiki/Item_timeline#December_22.2C_2014_Patch_.E2.80.94_Smissmas_2014

I want to die!

/r/tf2 Thread Parent Link - youtu.be