Yo please do not pay for music college . It might be nice to get a certificate to say that you can man a rig & make music but actually being able do it is very different. i know people who have spent 30k going to music college & different courses etc and now they work in mechanics or Tesco. I heard almost all of them say and go thru what you have. Take that money and buy all the music equipment that you will actually use and then live off the rest. In 2010 I did a €300 music management & production course in a really low level entry college and a friend started a city & guilds course in music production & engineering, he did that for 3 years, never passed a single exam, never produced a song longer than 4/8 bars. The only thing he gained was a big ego and never shut up talking about how many 'connections' he has made by going to the college which was all a fable. I am honestly convinced the pressure of having to make music and perform under those circumstances with that much money on the line made him shook and his dream ended. I started my €300 course at the exact same time as him and i dropped out after 7 months but I am still going stronger than ever today. You either want to do it or not. If you get depressed sometimes, moving away and getting/doing all these new things doesnt extinguish that, it only makes it worse. Make peace with yourself man and almost anything you do will be enjoyable. Tbh this whole post is one gigantic self doubt. We all have doubts about what we are doing with music but im not gonna let someone on a reddit post dictate huge decisions i have to make. Thats not to diminish anyones opinion, its just on us to make the decision that is best for ourselves after reflecting on our past experiences. If you are looking for something, thinking 'iv just got to get/do this then my music will finally be how i want it be' you wont find it by paying for it. Get in a room with your equipment, make music for 10,000. After that do 20,000. Do it because you enjoy the absolute fuck out of it. Get a guitar, get a keyboard, get a vst that has some brass sounds & some bass, understand how they all approach playing music. Learn drum patterns. Learn how actual drummers do their thing. Get a fucking dog. The 2 greatest things on earth today are Youtube & Puppies. Endless Education & Unconditional Love. If you want to pay to go to college to be apart of a certain kind of social circle then go and do that. Tomorrow, i have to attend a meeting with employment services where they will either force me to start a job in a warehouse or start another business/ forklift driver course. I do not want to do any of that because I know from attending college already that the only place I am going to get results with music is right here in my sanctuary. In the next 24 hours i have to decide how im going to make the transition to self employed. Now thats a scary fucking decision. Everything you want to know is out there on the internet for you to learn at your own pace. One more thing for the pessimist. if youre going to college and say right you're up one night making music, straight fiya beats. You look at the clock, its late'o'fuckin clock, do you go to bed to be on time for music college or stay up with making dat supa flame ? You decide to go to bed as a normal functioning human would do so, you get to college on time then come home and boom, writers block. This writers block lasts 3+ crippling months of straight hot garbage music. If you had stayed up and finished that beat you could be sippin sherry on a ferry right now. Get in a room and make music