I talk too much. Early on, I'd send really long messages, because thats naturally who I am. I'm very open and honest in this kind of forum and thats too much for some. So I thought about changing myself and have even tried sending some far shorter and lower effort messages (higher response rate, but I have nothing to say to one to two sentence replies). I think people sometimes find it intimidating to approach a long, thought out message. Its easy to skip something like that when you get a flurry of messages and easier to read/reply to a quick message/quick joke. And I get that, totally. But I decided I can't change myself too much when the natural me is going to come out eventually. I just think and hope that there is some people out there that appreciate that part of me and I'll eventually get lucky. I'm a very wordy person that sometimes will see a thought and chase it like a loose dog going after the mailman.

I also have tendency for foot in mouth syndrome (letting my brain chase a thought) or being too honest early on and that leads to some dead ends when things otherwise seemed to be going great. I think its easy in this kind of forum to find one thing you don't like or disagree with and decide "fuck it. There's thousands more people here".

Its just disheartening when who you really are comes out and suddenly you're met with silence. I just want people to talk to and connect with. Regardless of who the person on the other end is, connection is really ultimately what I want and its hard to find it when it seems like my talkative self ends up being a negative trait. It makes you wonder what you're doing wrong or if there is simply something wrong or undesirable about your personality. Its the same when talk of physical characteristics come up when talking to people with more romantic interests in mind. I'm in pretty decent shape, but 5'10'', bald (not by choice), and with facial hair (ok, its KINDA to compensate for my lost friends up top). Every time I hit that point in the conversation because its requested, I get met with silence. Its not great for your self image. But I keep trying because I want to meet people of all walks of life. I want to connect and learn from others in the ways that only a good conversation can.