[Meta] What are you hoping to find on 'Makenewfriendshere' Are you looking for a quick fix or a life long friend?

I'm apparently in the minority here.

I really enjoy my alone time, but I need people to talk to occasionally. If something long term happens, then great. But it's not necessary at all for me.

I get that it might be for other people, so I won't fault anyone for wanting it. Here's what I think, though.

I feel like sometimes saying you want a long term friend or a best friend or someone who's always there only makes everyone involved feel more pressured and feel like they're under some kind of obligation to talk, which is why they'll nope out pretty quickly. No one wants to feel obligated. It also encourages expectations (which aren't really good for making new friends) and just makes the whole thing kind of awkward and more anxiety-inducing than it needs to be.

My approach is just talk. Try not to expect long term friends, a best friend, or someone that'll​ always be there to listen to you. Try not to expect anything, honestly. It's not that this can't or won't happen, it's that the expectation of it is going to negatively impact you. If there's no pressure, you're more likely to just act naturally and come to appreciate someone as they are, rather than hoping for someone they're not or pushing yourself to meet someone else's expectations.

Also, almost everyone gets at least one or two replies. Some people probably get upwards of ten or fifteen (possibly more). If you're already not great socially (which is why a lot of people come here), you're going to have a bit of a rough time dealing with a bunch of people who suddenly want to talk all the time.

Let's say you make a post and then someone else makes a post, and then you both PM each other. Great, but now, between the both of you, there are a bunch of people who each of you need to reply to. And whether you'll actually click beyond the whole "I liked your post and agree/relate/have similar interests" thing still remains to be seen.

Even if you don't post and only PM people, you need to take into account that they probably have a bunch of other PMs, and you shouldn't really expect that you'll click because you liked their post. It's great if you do, but you need to just remember that sometimes there's not much there other than a few interests you might share.

Also, people can't always reply, and sometimes the won't ever respond. They may have changed​ their mind, they may feel inundated, maybe it was a spur of the moment thing when they created their post, etc.

I think it's better if people just put aside that expectation of long term friendship and allow things to develop naturally.

You can want stronger and longer lasting friendships, but don't feel like you're required to have them. Short term things can sometimes be just as fulfilling as long term things.

My silly opinion, for whatever it's worth.

/r/MakeNewFriendsHere Thread