I felt shitty. 2 years back I lost my dad. I started self improvement while on alcohol. Started writing down to do list for the next day. Gradually I joined gym. Started quiting unhealthy habits one by one. Used thc + meditation for the answers I was looking for.

Workout out made me persistent. I got rid of all unhealthy friends. Found my true nature.

But at no point I ever thought of taking out my life. Life is something wonderful and I value it. One of my friend gave up his life. During that time I was helpless as I was also in depression. Once I lost him, I realised what I have.

The deaths in my circle showed me what I am left with and im doing everything I could to keep this body and mind dancing on the rope. It's fun from outsiders. But from inside I'm keeping my mind occupied.

Get out of your house. Use your bed only to sleep at night.

If you don't have money always be walking. It gives you energy. Use it to make food for yourself. Never let anyone to help you. Have some ego and only person you should respect is you.

What i realised is Struggle is always there.

Save yourself and save others too.

Im not a talker. But doing this because I saw a guy's post giving 44yr old shrooms. This is my part. I have given you my efforts. Respect it. Change yourself. In six months of time you will do the same for someone else.

Rule#1: Help someone only if they are looking for help. If they are not, wait untill they do ( this is for people whom you see face to face.) Don't break yourself while your are helping someone else. I tried helping people whom I see face to face, and I had broken good sets of my rules I built for myself but I learnt a lesson and getting back on track.

2 weeks since I started going to gym again. I'm ruthless and strict to myself for he past three days