I replaced Zoloft with MDing psilocybin, but only after talking with my doctor about ending the Zoloft and coming up with a tapering schedule. This didn’t get rid of withdrawal symptoms, but it did make them better than when I tried on my own.

I was hesitant to start the shrooms because of all the warnings about taking psychedelics while being on SSRI meds, so I didn’t start until about three months of zero meds.

I started off by microdosing .1 grams and it was great at removing the still-persistent withdrawals. I felt emotions that I hadn’t in almost 6 years. But there was still the same depression lingering over me from when I was on the meds.

That’s when I started doing a lot of research in the trials being performed in London using psilocybin to help treatment-resistant depression. After a lot of internal debate I decided I would attempt to recreate their trial as closely as I can at home. I even found the exact playlist they use to have in the background (which proved to be critical for me).

The day came when I decided I was ready. I took 3.5 grams of cubensis in tea form, laid down in my dimly lit room with my girlfriend nearby and the playlist playing. I could go on for pages about the trip itself, but it was incredibly insightful. There were moments of fear, but I realized that it was my brain finally making me face my fears and come to terms with them. I was shown things I was too scared to deal with and things I had been suppressing for many years. It was at that moment that I felt the universe forgive me. I felt forgiven for every shitty thing I’ve ever done. I felt growth and maturity. Tears streamed down my face as I apologized to Mother Earth herself. For the first time in my life I didn’t feel the weight of my past on my shoulders.

I have since continued just the microdosing and I would personally consider myself not depressed. One thing I have learned through all of this is that sometimes you will be sad, because there are sad things that will happen. But this is normal for everyone and everything, it is how we cope with these things that can determine mental healthiness or not. Growth and self-forgiveness are the keys.

TLDR: I tapered all the way off meds before MDing, but also took a single large dose in a safe environment which has been critical to helping me feel again.