I had nearly this exact same situation when I was around your age. I was 16, got in an argument with my mom and screamed in her face, "...and when I kill myself, I want you to remember that you're the one who made me do it!" and then I blacked out and threw her into a wall... That was just one of many horrible, bullshit moments in my life. I'm currently 30. When I was that age, I literally thought to myself "If I make it to 25, I win, anything else is bonus points." because for some reason I believed that I knew how I'd die. That I'd do it. I wasn't sure exactly how, but I just had that feeling.

Not until this year did I finally get help. I've started on anti-depressants, exercising, eating healthier, seeing a counselor. I stopped smoking over a year ago now. Its insane. I attribute part of it to an "Oh shit here comes 30!" sort of panic, but, either way, I'm glad it happened. I've got a ton of shit I could talk about. If you wanna chat just hit me up man. It's hard to believe at this moment, but i promise, its worth sticking around.