I'll write this to you, but also to myself.
Whilst i kind of agree that there is no objective meaning, it is more nuanced:
The whole idea of meaningless is a false dicotomy. Meaningless in regards of what? Compared to what? Meaning is in the eyes of the one looking. The same with up and down or small and and big - is an elephant big? Yes, compared to me. Is it it big compared to a whale? It is too big of a price to pay you life for a thought that is in your head and has become an ideology of meaningless. But I understand how magnetic this thought is and it is undeniebly hard to step out of it, don't want to minimize it.
The beauty of the meaning, and I am learning it myself, is that I create my meaning, you create your meaning. I don't need to have it or be given one, not how it works. Well, maybe some of us grow up in the environment where we don't learn what the meaning is. But still we can learn and consciously deside to be in a lookout. Make a game of it. Same as nowhere, meaning is everywhere if you open your eyes. Lifting yourself up, each step, can carry a meaning to you if you choose. Each interaction and exchange with somebody, or when you create. Some time it comes with effort, simetimes it is effortless. You decide. And I am not suggesting to just pretend, but to reevaluate your beliefs and virtues. If you'll find your virtues, and you can, you will find the meaning too, it will carry a sense of truth for you. Just please, don't invest your time and energy into building a religion of not believing, it will lead you into death and it will feel very reasoned to you. But, as you are already here living, may as well experience life, and maybe, as a gift, you will find your meaning.
All the strenght and luck to you, honestly I hope you can lift yourself up, and you will see it yiurself. The world you have build there inside is not real and when you are out of your darkness, it will be different. But death is not the way to get there.