told him to leave me and get back with her. ...

She basically told me to grow up because everybody is friends with their exes and that’s normal. ...

told me how she was really afraid that I would not want my husband to see his ex again and that I have to understand that she and her family will always be a huge part of his life.

This woman is extremely toxic. I hope you realize that.

So I just did what she said. Even though I cried and got hurt every time I saw her.

You are being way too passive. You get to define your boundaries.