Thank you so much for a kind and thoughtful response. I just never got how my Mom could be so wonderful, intuitively with that - if my step-dad tries to step in when we're visiting to reprimand my kids she always speaks up and tells him that we're here and can handle it just fine. All she provides while we're there is love, patience and wisdom.

My husband even told my MIL once before that she was a much better Grandma when we didn't live with her. That of course brought her to tears and we thought she would change but she hasn't.

I'm waiting on a definitive diagnosis and reminding her about once a week to call for the results. It just makes it harder not knowing for sure how much is her and how much might be beyond her control.