Military and depression/Anxiety.

I'm in the military. I have been for the past 10 months now. I joined for many reasons. College benefits, see the world, hopefully do good things. As my time has progressed I've fallen out of touch with who I am. I am not who I was before the military. No, I'm not the macho OORAH american flag beer drinking icon most people think of when they see military personnel. I'm just a guy who isn't happy, and hasten been for quite some time now. I joined the Navy under a diver contract. Got to boot camp and thought I really don't want to do this, this isn't the kind of life style I want to live. I dont want to travel, or anything truthfully. I figured that was just the boot camp blues. Anyways I make it through boot camp fine and proud to be in the navy. I get to my prepatory course and complete it just fine, but as soon as I completed it I knew something was wrong. I wasn't happy, 75% of my class failed and I was one of the 10 left who passed. I did not feel acomplished, my family told me I had changed I wasnt the happy go lucky, high spirited man I was before. Everything anymore seemed...grey to me. I get to my A school and go a little bit, my depression got the worst of me. I failed a test and got dropped. I was oddly okay with that but I still wasn't happy. I ended up checking myself voluntarily into a pyschatric ward and was checked in under severe depression, high watch. They decided that the best thing for me would be to get out of the military. I felt happy, hopeful to go back home and start my life over. Do what I want to do. My chain of command decided to not let me get out. I was released and sent to another A school. I'm two weeks from graduating my new A school and my depression and anxiety is getting worse. I try to talk to people about it and I just get mocked for it. Told to suck it up. deal with it, it's pnly another 3 years until you're done. I feel like im wasting my time. Wasting myself away doing this job. Wasting the Navy's resources when they could be spending it on people who are proud to be here. I'm just looking for help. On how to deal with myself, become happy. I'm tired of hating my life, I want to be hapy but nobody listens to me. If anyone has any information, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you.

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