Military veterans of Reddit, what are your best stories from boot camp/basic training?

Yeah, you'd mentioned. Nigga soft serve, can't pull bhair, spanks like a biiiiitch.

Totslly looking for the girl first, we were just chatting and something else brought it up, I don't remember the details, but she saw something out in public or on television and just went off about it. Fuck, at this point I'd be a fool to be having a list of prerequisites, it's about to boil down to breathing and is currently a female.

Fatty. I just inhaled a mountain of Panda Express. It was so good, but now I feel like I should be shot.

So you're just pissing all over yourself and the furniture and shit all the time now huh?

I suppose that's a plus.

Yeah, I've seen some big babies moving around, it looks like the scene from the latest Paranormal Activity movie, or maybe it was another shitty horror film I'm getting it mixed up with, but she's basically pregnant with the antichrist and it moves across her stomach while she's asleep and the silhouette is a super cheesy demon face. Definitely gross for sure.

Love Dandy. So, so much. He's the most fun, just off the wall crazy ass shit, he's above the law, he's god, he's bathing in blood, he's paying a cop a million dollars to shoot that fatty fat fat fat that I just fucking despise. That fucking cunt adds nothing to the show and I was so annoyed they brought her back, and then blown away that more of her scenes weren't sitting, laying down, leaning against something or eating. Pretty much every scene was like that in the third one.

The twins are a little bit of fun, don't give a shit about Pepper, and I mostly like Jimmy, but the hands seem a little contrived, like you really convinced a guy to cut off his fuckin' hands to get out of jail? What's he going to do if he gets out of jail now, his livelihood was being a lobster dude, not a handless dude. Plenty of dudes don't have hands, that's just a farm/factory accident. That's also if he even gets out because the whole thing was a scam and there probably is no lawyer. Maybe he gets beat to death in jail, just like a big "Fuck you, we'll kill off whoever we want!"

Yeah, I remember his two hours, that shit was awful. Not nearly as bad as every twenty minutes, but I still couldn't manage it with my job. I'd need to work from home for like a month or something.

I'd hate to leave him stranded too, I wish I could have a dog and take him to work with me. He could chill with me, walk and bark at the pigs, stay svelte.

/r/AskReddit Thread