My best friend who is my boyfriend of over a decade and live with doesn't trust me because he thinks I'm drinking in secret and blames us not getting along on the idea that I'm hiding alcohol and believes that's the sole reason why I'm frustrated with him and basing his frustration on me. He wanted to search my car and everything last night, yelled at me to the point I actually cried. "Give me your keys. You're lying and I know it I've seen bottles." "What? We are arguing about not getting along. There aren't bottles, you see all the alcohol, I'm talk- "no, you're just lying I've seen it bottles!" "When?" "Before" "Before what? When I decided to not drink in excess?" "Like a month ago" "That was April. It's September." "Whatever, I've seen bottles."

Him not trusting me felt horrible and totally violating. I know he knows I'm not drinking anything other than the small amount I consume in front of him (he eye-rolled so hard when my family who was visiting all had a glass of wine at dinner (they're visiting our grandfather/Papa/Dad who has cancer and is on morphine every day as it's spread from prostate to spine, stomach, and lungs) but my boyfriend, my confidante, he doesn't want to talk about any problems or attempt to face the fact that it's not just "my addiction" that is messing things up, but that it is both of us and the way we are together right now. He is accusing me of behavior that is not true. I haven't been hiding alcohol or secretly drinking. I tried to explain that relationships are roller coasters if you're lucky, ups and downs, excitement, thrills, and a peaceful ending at night because we do truly love each other. He is tired of alcohol because his family has a long history of alcohol abuse which I understand and they are all sober 15+ years and I'm close with them and have been since I was a child. My frustration is that I can see him wanting to blame alcohol for all the things he doesn't like within himself and with me because he doesn't want to think it could be anything else that is unknown to him and he can't emotionally be upset and control.