Did thirds at Meijer right before and during the pandemic (until September 2020.) I didn't miss the overnight shoppers. Was way easier to stock aisles, especially the freezer section, without people in the store. Didn't have to watch language and we played whatever music over the PA we wanted. I didn't wear a mask while alone in my section- international/tomatoes/pasta/tacos- and treated the job like my own personal Golds Gym membership. Pound some pre-workout, chug water, throw cases of food all night. Can't sprint with a 12 pack of Ragu if you have to dodge Methadone Mindy and her bullshit. Would keep an open bag of Albanese Sour Bears on my cart and dump them my face like feedbag every so often. Had the shoulder muscles from fucking god.
Cops got called once or twice a week. It got really interesting. People suddenly were confronted with no toilet paper and no chicken tenders and no end in sight to the riots the erupted after George Floyd's murder. It was the most stressful summer I can ever remember. As some sort of weird "don't worry" move the store started parking lines of stacked shopping carts in front of the windows at night. We weren't allowed to leave the building unless we were in the gated garden center (joy.)
Two of our drivers were involved with armed robberies while delivering loads so corporate ended after dark deliveries- making food shortages worse. We were not allowed to tell customers about it, since it happened north during a stop. Shoplifting went from one off items to "holy shit they took a whole cart." Half the time it was evident they were off their meds and needed help, the other it was substance abuse fueled mania. One woman was frying out of her skull and kept calling my very ugly boss "Tom Cruise" - this was moments after EMTs removed a stolen cellphone charger from her vagina. (Bonus: Brandon decided to take the evidence back, bare handed, not realizing where she had it.) Someone broke a men's room toilet one night and flooded the front end of the store. ...how does someone accomplish that? They're giant fucking ceramic bowls bolted into the floor. No one heard a damn thing. It was 11 pm. We never saw the suspect. We did have to move a dozen tables of baked goods and call a cleaning company though. Then the night I almost died trying to save some woman being beaten in the parking lot (strangely proud of that one.) And my coworkers.
Jesusfuckingtapdancingchristofferinghersheyskisses. The best was the alcoholic woman that had to be driven home after being super flirty with the elderly produce lady. She'd been getting wasted in her car every night during shift then driving home for months but sexual harassment was the last straw? Weird shit flared weekly. It was the best "I fucking hate this job" ever, just for the people watching.