If you don’t mind I was about to put this long as rant you about this and what I see personally as the biggest issue but one sub was gonna make me put it in a thread about gabby and that wasn’t my intent. And I see you just brought the topic up as well so I’ll just add to this.
I’m going to start this right off by saying there absolutely needs to be a realization in America that we do in fact have the power, and need to use to more in missing peoples cases of all races, ages and situation. People disappearances and deaths can seem completely random, or they can be from shootings in areas known for violent crimes, but if the police can not find anything leading to a suspect to arrest then the community is the only way they will be able to find the killer. Personally in my city, which is one of top murder capitals in the us and world, I’m tired of seeing shootings everyday with killers getting off so easily. Under 50% of the 145 murders this year have had a suspect arrested. Absolutely disgusting to think of how the families in friends are forced to just accept this.
But right now we see a situation that’s happened time and time again in history, a white girl was murdered by a white male and the nation is losing their mind. We’re calling it “white girl syndrome”. This term comes with it’s reasons we could argue all day, but the one thing the term is ignoring is why exactly these girls seem to capture America. Specifically Gabby’s case along with many other white woman who are going missing have the biggest following by other white woman. White women who are ready to drive 100s of miles to solve the damn thing themselves when authorities aren’t finding solutions fast enough.
It may come as a shock to you guys, but I myself am I white woman in my late 20’s and I’m writing about this murder. Yup. But we’ve already seen all the white girls opinions on where he is, telling us how to spot domestic abuse and how they were in an abusive relationship themselves and could have been them. True. Could have. But I don’t think we’re getting down to the actually reason why so many of these girls relate to the relationship and the case becomes famous.
The answer is, the white men. In today’s generations, the white males that come across to the world as an artsy, clean cut, “woke” by publicly seeming to oppose other white men who have racist, homophobic and sexist beliefs, they also seem to be in touch with their feelings (many claim to suffer from mental illness such as anxiety and depression when they first met you). My group of girl friends and I have all dated one of these type of men in our late teens-mid late 20s. But still I know men who are in there 30s that still behave this way. And the behavior I’m mostly referring to is the gaslighting and manipulation. They seem different when you first meet them, you guys seem to have so much fun together and do such cool things that everything you did before on your own, you now do with him, making it impossible to continue to enjoy that hobby alone when this all falls apart. It becomes very codependent almost immediately. After staying up all night within the first few nights of knowing him, he tells you about his struggles with mental health. You can see his anxiety, but also don’t understand it that much because he seems way too confident and don’t hesitate to meet up with the boys at a seconds notice when their group chat texts him. It gets to the point you’re the one who starts having the anxiety because you know when he’s going to hang out with the guys, either you’re going with him on his time or you lost your whole day with him and you leave in your car to go home when he leaves. You almost seem rushed out. And you get halfway home and start to cry and you don’t know why. You love spending time with him but something seems wrong. If he stays around, he always has girl friends you don’t know that well, but all your guy friends are just his friends. He probably likes other girls selfies nonstop and you feel out of touch with your normal group of friends. You truly believe everything is how it’s suppose to be and that you’re happy, but anytime you are both talking in a public setting, you are timid at over stepping his words and just follow his lead. And you cry when you’re alone, a lot. When you guys fight it’s bad, but only for you. You may end up being late for work, missing class, or your planned event for your friends because you’re so broken down by arguing with him. But he never does. He never seems to be inconvenienced by anything in his life because of your relationship. You definitely don’t come first. But he’s loved by your parents, by his coworkers and seems to befriend everyone in the area.
The fighting gets worse and before you know it you’re fake flenching at each other cause you want to slap this relationship back to normal but then he actually hits you. You may slap him back but you know you didn’t actually use your strength. He does though and acts like you started it. In fact he’s worried about your mental health he says. You start to wonder if you’re okay too. You haven’t had much of a social life anymore and you keep either being late, missing work or just don’t have any desire to do any of that anymore. You may make a giant life change and then constantly talk about it to him because you want him to see you’re trying to get better. But nothing changed really and it never does. Many of us leave that guy, or get or hearts shattered and then take them back over and over till we’ve had enough finally, then we get in a healthy relationship and realize what really happened. Remember at the beginning he had the mental illness? Now you’re the one looking for help and maybe have taken yourself into the hospital during a freak out.
These are the guys that soooo many white girls date. And we fucking hate these guys. No, almost none of them actually kill their girlfriend or family, but it’s the fact that they have no history whatsoever of anger or violence. Like I said they seem like the soft boy/ good boy type to everyone. Then they snap and it’s the most terrifying thing. White males are practically raised with the attributes to become sociopaths. Many of the other races are for the most part true to themselves. By that I mean if they’re gonna scream at you or get violent, they usually have no problem showing that to anyone who crosses them. They’ll yell at their friends, coworkers and family. If they have anger problems, they’re probably worse behind closed doors, but people in their circle are likely aware they can be short tempered. While white men put on this whole identity of the idea male the world sees as a leader and successful human. They’ll sit there and ignore their flaws, letting them fester and grow darker. These are the men who have probably never even been in a fight in their lives, while hiding a demon inside them thats fucking raging. Then when they let them out, they destroy the ones closest to them and then get insane support from their community to basically forget about whatever they did and start on a clean slate.
Obviously the issue is white privilege and the blind ignorance of the white community striving to be superior. We as a community focus so much on not being the issue ourselves that we don’t realize by our strive for perfection we are creating the problem. The way we raise our men is cowardly, is a lie to reality and how other races are raised. Tough love isn’t a thing. Realizing your mistakes and attaching emotion to fucking up isn’t taught. Instead they’re taught to apologize so everyone is happy, but that when everyone is happy with you you don’t have to feel like you did wrong anymore. It’s the entitlement they have. That’s why these cases will always be front page news. Because we all have suffered from these men’s actions but the world has let these men get away with every sign showing they were bad. Until one goes too far and murders.
I know I went off on a ramble and I hope it makes sense what I’m getting to. White girl syndrome in the news is caused by how we still have yet to put white men on the same playing field of life as every other race and gender. They get the same pass in life as a cop would, mostly because these toxic kind of men who gaslight and manipulate are the ones becoming the cops as well. They love the power of humans and most love the power of a weapon too. And this power of the white man makes the white woman look so innocent and helpless when this kind of story happens.
By the way I’m kinda weirded out by the following of this case. I love the success they’ve had by effort from the people in the case, but a lot of you guys have lost your noggins by reaching out to anyone possible in their social media’s. They’ve all had to make their lives private because it’s stalking now. And not to mention you fucks getting rich off this......wtf is wrong with you guys. The case I was following and waiting for the results is the Gerrish Families. Which probably isn’t being looked at strongly anymore. Not to mention the people currently missing in my own city. I check on it because it is interesting, but it’s also embarrassing to see the extra mess from some of y’all. Ps if he’s not ever found, this level of publicity is just giving white men more of an ego to get away with doing this themselves. So if you see something say something, but leave the family and friends alone and chill the fuck out.
Ps ps. Attacking Brian’s page and family will not make a change in the world. But a family taking the effort to surround themselves with diversity and not making exceptions to what your kid is aloud to do vs his next door neighbor of a different race is what will hopefully one day allow for life with true equality