I got spanked a lot by my dad and when he saw me go to my mom crying, and she comforted me he yelled at her to not undo his discipline. He also told her she was turning me into a fairy. And so I grew up insecure. Insecure about my appearance, insecure about my penis, insecure about my ability to please a woman. I began therapy when I was 23 and have been in therapy on and off my whole life. I’m 66 now and I’m in therapy with a new therapist since my last one died last fall. I’ve been married twice and both times the marriage failed largely due to my insecurities. I was never confident that my wives loved me. Now I’m single and dating a woman and sadly I don’t really know where I stand with her. I told her I love her a few times and she replied I love you too, but she has never said it without me saying it first or told me how she feels about me and I think she’s lukewarm, like she wouldn’t miss me much.