My V 1.0 mock from last week mostly remains unchanged. Switch Carolina and Denver with the same picks in those spots.
So, instead, since we're done with the Super Bowl, how about /u/JohnnyFire presents THE TRADE-UP ELIGIBLE TOTALLY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN MOCK DRAFT V.1 WHAT WHAT~!?
Niners - Jared Goff, QB [TRADE: San Francisco trades 2016 1st and 4th, plus 2017 1st and 6th, plus Eli Harold and Jarryd Hayne]. Other than LA, there's not a better fit for Goff. We're going to assume we're in a reality where Kaepernick is no longer part of the plan for San Francisco. If San Fran wants to ensure they get their QB of choice, the only option is to lap Cleveland here. And since we don't know which QB Cleveland is particularly enamored with as of yet, we have to assume it's Goff, who still appears to be the consensus #1. Tennessee stock piles some picks to nab talent plus a defensive piece they can build upon in Harold, and San Francisco gets their QB of the future for a reasonable deal.
Browns - Carson Wentz, QB. If a QB doesn't go first overall, Cleveland may consider taking Bosa or working a trade-down. If a QB does go first overall, Cleveland, barring a complete commitment to the QB who went first, is going to have to go QB here. Rumors are strong that they like all 3 guys and even met with Paxton Lynch, but Wentz is a god-fearing big-armed QB, which, at this point, is about as good as you can get for the Browns.
Chargers - Joey Bosa, DE/OLB. No brainer here; San Diego sees the writing on the wall and takes the BPA.
Jaguars - Jalen Ramsey, CB/S [TRADE: Jacksonville trades 1st, 5th and 6th to Cowboys]. It's not improbable that Dallas would go for a CB/S here, but they also may have very much liked the class of QB's above. Jacksonville is a fair trade partner here, and they can ensure they get a player which closest meets their needs this year.
Bears - DeForest Buckner, DE/DT [TRADE: Chicago trades 1st and 3rd] And Dallas jumps back again with nobody to truly pull the trigger on. Chicago grabs the best defender left on the board who meets their needs and hopefully starts the process of fixing that bastardized defense.
Ravens - Myles Jack, OLB. Because Myles Jack with Baltimore, killing the Browns for years, is too Cleveland to not happen at this point.
Titans - Laremy Tunsil, OT. Tennessee wins on all fronts; they get the OT they wanted and stock-piled picks.
Dolphins - Vernon Hargreaves, CB. Oh snap, they forgot about Vernon! With quite a few options in this draft, it's an easy call for Miami to shore up the secondary here.
Buccaneers - Ronnie Staley, OT. HOLD YOUR SPEARS OF DISSENT FOR A MOMENT. Much like Tennessee, Tampa Bay can certainly shore up the line. Donovan Smith makes more sense to me on the right side with Staley holding down the left. I hear screams about CB's and the right side of the line, but I raise that with, are you confident in any player on the Bucs O-Line right now? In a scenario where the above plays out, I think this is the best route aside from taking a BPA on defense or MacKenzie Alexander.
Giants - A'Shawn Robinson, DT. Fits the need the best with Buckner out of play.
Cowboys - Jaylon Smith, OLB/ILB [TRADED DOWN]. If Jaylon is back healthy, he's the BPA left on the board here, in view, and can become a disruptive force for Dallas in their attempts to shore up the rest of the team. But Dallas ain't done.
Saints - Leonard Floyd, OLB. With a run on defensive talent, the Saints tie up the best remaining scheme-fit OLB. I could also argue for Ogbah or Lawson here with no obvious other clear fit.
Eagles - Taylor Decker, OT. Same as my normal pick, just add something to that line with no obvious QB available.
Lions - Laquon Treadwell, WR [TRADE: Detroit trades 1st, 4th, and 7th]. Detroit sees a big-bodied, top line WR falling and knows this is their one shot and takes it with Calvin Johnson on the way out. The Rams would happily have him otherwise.
Rams - Andrew Billings, DT. I'm following Walter Football here. No other name makes any real sense for Los Angeles; Paxton is a project, there's no top flight WR, and Brockers/Fairley are on the way out next year. The fans won't be happy, but in this scenario, you have to take the best available player that makes sense, and sadly, that's Billings.
Raiders - Mackenzie Alexander, CB [TRADED DOWN] Same as the normal pick. Oakland gets help at a position of great need.
Falcons - Shaq Lawson, DE. BPA left for Atlanta, as I feel Lawson will still be highly ranked.
Cowboys - Paxton Lynch, QB. [TRADE: Dallas trades 2nd, two 3rds, 5th, 2016 2nd and 3rd, and Ronald Leary] Name another owner batshit enough to allow this other than Irsay. But think about this from Indy's perspective: Paxton Lynch is the best remaining QB on the board. Houston would need to be lapped for anyone to get him, as I think they'd hop on the chance to take Lynch at 22. Not only would Indy hinder Houston in the process, but they get a G and plenty of late-round fodder to try and get some other pieces around Luck. Dallas, thanks to moving Leary, can keep their 2016 first and gets someone they can hold behind Romo for next season. It's devious, it makes sense, and I am so sorry Houston.
Bills - Reggie Ragland, ILB. Same as the normal pick.
Jets - Emmanuel Ogbah, DE/OLB. Same as the normal pick.
Redskins - Keith Dodd, DE/OLB. Same as the normal pick.
Texans - Christian Hackenberg, QB. Ohhhh I know Texans fans want him in the next round, but this is anarchy in motion. As a result, we have to assume that QB has become a premium position. Therefore, now, with 3 top QB's gone, Houston HAS to go with Hack here or risk not getting one at all. Indy's master plan in terms of taking a top prospect away may have worked, but Houston can still maximize their value with Hack given time. How much time is the question.
Vikings - Michael Thomas, WR. Same as the normal pick and a major no-brainer in my view.
Bengals - S'ua Cravens, OLB/SS. Once again, same as normal.
Steelers - Kendall Fuller, CB. Same as normal. Secondary help is needed.
Seahawks - Vadal Alexander, OT/G. Better prospect than Conklin in my normal draft, and flexible for Seattle's needs on the O-Line front.
Packers - Robert Nkemdiche, DT/DE. Same as normal.
Chiefs - Sheldon Rankins, DT. He's moving up draft boards, so let's slot him in here.
Cardinals - Shilique Calhoun, OLB/DE Same as normal.
Panthers - Ezekiel Elliot, RB. Some people may want to get reactionary and call for an OT after the abysmal line performance last night, but fuck it, Zeke immediately makes that offense far more formidable.
Broncos - Jack Conklin, OT. Switching Conklin for Spriggs, as I think either will do long term.