She has a chronic disability that has worsened and her insurance allows her to choose her own home health aide. She chose me because I am the closest family she has. So I basically get paid to help care for her, but she can do most things on her own.

Oh, crap. Golden handcuffs.

Please, try to get a part-time job or line of work going on the side. Something that will give you job skills that you can use if your mother ever decides that she doesn't need your services.

I had a friend who was in a situation like yours, and it was bad - really bad. The JW relative manipulated my friend all over the place, took advantage of her, and gave her no end of headaches.