You also need to do some reflecting on this so called father you had. That dudes a petty pile of shit. Any love you had for him should be gone without remorse. He lied to you your entire life playing dad and doing all of the right things and then discards you when you become an adult? Thats like sociopath level... Also what he did to your mom by insinuating somehow its her fault and the burdens on her even though he stuck around and played dad. Life was probably easier for him because he could hold that over her head. No wonder shes an emotional basket case and cant talk to you, shes been mentally abused for decades... Get the fuck away from these people and find a way. Its scary but not as hard as you think. Keep your head up and you'll survive.