The mom who knows all and judges harshly

I’m in a weird situation with an old friend right now in that we’re Facebook friends (I don’t follow her though) and I’ve tried to recover the friendship but I just don’t think it’s ever going to be what I need in a friendship, nor do I think it honestly ever was. I think I just grew out of those kinds of relationship.

She’ll do things like wag her husband’s achievements in front of the world, when even he doesn’t. My fiance pointed out how when this friend’s husband completed his Ivy League dissertation, she took a selfie in front of the husband and made the post about how he’d finished his dissertation and he was a PhD now, etc. He was like, “Did she just take a selfie in front of the guy who did all the work?” Her husband is so quiet about it all, otherwise. Just in general, she has a way of humble-bragging and overtly bragging on social media that is incredibly unattractive and I think it’s just been turning more and more people off in the long term.

About 2 years ago, we hadn’t hardly talked at all. So I was trimming friends off IG and when I unfollowed her, within an hour she sent me a message asking why I unfollowed her. Weird confrontation there. I kind of explained and then told her I would love to stay in touch again and follow her, and then she blocked me? But said it wasn’t personal? I wasn’t upset about it, just confused. We got past it, still chatted now and again, but I still don’t follow her on anything.

I’ve been friends with her for a long, long time though. In a last ditch effort to connect with her and be the kind of friend I want in a person, I sent her a hand-written, snail mail card when I heard her mom’s cancer had returned. (It’s in remission again, thankfully.) Just to let her know I was thinking of her and that I didn’t want to just donate to her mom’s gofundme or send her a Facebook message, I wanted to do a little more than that and spend some time on connecting with her. I put a few little goodies in the package for her and for her daughter, too.

Anyway, that was just before Christmas. Earlier, when I texted her husband for their address and told him, “Hey, I heard about her mom! I’m so sorry. I was hoping to send you guys a little something. Could I have your mailing address? And don’t tell her, because I was hoping it could be a surprise!” He sends me the address, nothing else. I say, “Thank you! I hope you guys are having a good holiday!” He texts back, “

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