When I was growing up I had a mother who was chronically ill. She went from the woman who could play and have fun with her kids that I remembered to a shell who could barely move around the house. By the time I was 12, I was largely taking care of myself. By the time I was 13 I was taking care of her as well.

Everywhere she went, I had to take her around in a wheelchair. From time to time, when she had the ability, she'd stand and move around. Because we were poor the only wheelchair we owned was second-hand and worn down - it hurt to sit in. Every time she stood up, she and I would get looked at with total disdain. We were poor. We looked poor. And now we looked like we were gaming something.

What little my Mum was able to teach me was fixated on family, loyalty, and shoring ourselves up. Protecting each other. Nothing else mattered. For years I lived by that code. Everything I needed was put aside and I became the patriarch of the family. More so than my father. Worse in many ways than my father. I suffered a lot. Some of the suffering was my own doing too. I was not a good kid. I resented my parents for all of that. I still do.

But I don't have a choice in where I came from, and that's the tough tits of it all. One day you will have a choice in where you are going. Hold that close to your heart. Protect yourself now and do whatever you can, however small, to buffer yourself. Reach out to friends, youth groups, family friends. Whoever you can. Don't let your depression go unchecked.

You're a human being, and everything you feel is justified. What's happening in your life now is finite. And one day soon, if you choose to, you'll be able to live entirely independently of your mum.