My grandmas both survived abusive families (one pachopath father, other narc mother) and some gruesome horrors of wwII. Sad to say, they died without speaking of this (I found out snooping a bit and glueing info together). Both extremely secretitive, one surely had DID... it hurts to see that., it is very hard to talk to people who are that locked up in the bad side of life. My both grandmas, they both died without getting appropriate help or being soothed in any way... I wonder if it would be possible to convince your mother to get help. It wouldn’t necessarily mean she would get healthy, but she could at least get to know herself. And you could speak about things you probably cannot now... problem is she probably did behave in a way to promote your own problems. If she gets to see that clearly she is on for a lot of guilt feelings and shame. :( this might be a powerful barrier. I don’t think you should worry about having the same reactions as her. You are from the generation that asks and looks for solutions of such mental issues. You know how to speak about it and to speak about ut at all! You have your own stuff to carry and seems you are dealing with it. Idk if this helps but if you would like to talk more about having a close person who went trough hell and is not really functional feel feee to dm me.