Unpacking a few boxes and found a photo album that we made ourselves from my first wedding/honeymoon. Started to tear up as soon as I saw it. I should've stopped there, but no, I just had go through the pictures.

I smiled looking at some pictures, even laughed out loud at times, but fuck me I was sobbing the whole time. Things really went down hill once I saw this one photo that had me, my late wife, mom, dad, and grandma all posing together. None of them is around today. Fucking hell man, I remember the night my wife and I stayed up making artwork for this dyi photo album.

I never opened up to anyone about this before. Not even my friends or family. I mean with younger seblings and having a kid to look after.. I guess I just have so much shit pent up. My wedding is in 10 days and for the first time since I proposed last year I'm having second thoughts.

I haven't slept all night and don't plan to go to work today. Think I'll go snuggle with my sleepy head daughter instead.

Yeah I'll probably delete this in a minute.