Monday Morning Joy! Good morning /r/polyamory! How has the past week(end) been for you and your loves?

Not so good. I...actually finally opened a Reddit account today because I'm looking for answers regarding poly etiquette and I figured this would be the place to get some honest, real advice/answers.

Here's the story: My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship. This past weekend I found a ginormous hickey on his neck. This I saw once we were on the road, driving a few hours away on a road trip. I was the driver, he was the passenger, and the hickey was on the side of his neck facing me. Every time I looked at him, I saw this constant reminder that he was with another woman the night before. I can usually put his dealings with other folks aside and shrug it off but having this constant, glaring reminder was a bit too much.

Before this, He and I had a "don't ask don't tell" policy but, of course, I had to ask because the jealousy, hurt and curiosity were really getting to me. So I asked him about her. It was their first time hooking up together and before they slept together, he told her that he had a girlfriend and she told him that she had a boyfriend and that they were in a polyamorous relationship. That bit of info only seemed to make it even worse for me. If she was a decent poly person and knew he had a girlfriend (which I do trust that he told her; he has always been an honest person), wouldn't she be a bit more conscientious of such things? Aren't there any unwritten rules regarding poly etiquette and not leaving marks on another person's partner? Or am I being too sensitive? Perhaps this is on a case-by-case basis? I'm really hurt and just want to hear other's opinions or maybe even personal stories to help put this into perspective for me. Thank you in advance.

/r/polyamory Thread