Mother of Santa Fe shooting victim says daughter turned down alleged shooter's advances

But before that, consider what you're doing from her pov. Are you hitting on her at work where she is obliged to put up with it, or in an elevator, somewhere she cannot escape from quickly? It may not register for you(or maybe it does) but for a 120 lb woman being confronted by a 180 lb guy, these things are big deals and aren't okay.

Approach her on neutral ground. Somewhere she can leave from quickly and safely, and that has people all around and is well lit and considered safe. These at least make it not threatening to be hit on(well, more or less, women would probably say there's always that one guy).

That's all good advice, thank you.

Back off even if things are neutral. You ought to know within 5 seconds if she's feeling it or not. Lots of times girls will smile and nod just to keep a guy happy, even when they don't really want to be there. Don't be that guy who can't hear a girl silently screaming at you to go away.

Guys don't just "know" if a girl is into them or not. They're not mind readers.

It's not some secret code. There's no puzzle to it. Women are people. Treat them like people.

But there is a "secret code" though, or uncommon etiquette. Before this thread I wouldn't have even considered that a girl might be terrified of being honest with a guy and telling them they're not interested.

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