As bad as it sounds, until I had my son I didn't want him. (Father of said son had strong handed me into it all) so I was depressed before hand. I fell in love with my little boy when he was born for about a week. Then the post partum started. I would look after him, keep him clean and fed, but wouldn't really be there. The worst of it was I couldn't let anyone else near him which kept me trapped on a cycle of existing and that's all I did.. when he was weaned the depression got a little less powerful. I think I only got over it because I grew to marvel at everything he did, and seeing the innocent entirely engrossing love he had for me helped.