Your dad is refusing to seek help, when you go out into the world to live your life which is your basic right to do, how he reacts isn’t your fault. You can’t stay there forever just because your Dad is incredibly unstable. Leaving despite your dad’s emotional health doesn’t mean that you hate him, dislike him, or are even annoyed at him. It seems like you harbor serious guilt, I think you need to confront your guilt and understand that your wish to move is natural and should be happening.
I’m really sorry for your situation. Realize that not providing you with the resources you need to thrive is abuse. If you are suicidal and hurting yourself, and they know but refuse to get you help that is FUCKED up.
You are allowed to go and live your life, and I really hope you do!