Well there you go >Edit: I'm sorry this is so long. I've had no one to say this to for a long time. But if you're reading this, then thank you. :) Love is a crazy thing. It makes you do really, really stupid things. I fell head-over-heels for my boyfriend! He was sexy, ambitious, hardworking, and an absolute gentleman in every sense of the word. I, myself, was independent, happy, and committed to my workouts and my work, both of which were really paying off! I was 21 at this time (now 22) he was 24, (now 25). We had a blissful first few months together, and my lease ended-no biggie, I had a huge apartment at the time, but I wanted to downsize as I didn't need the space. Cool. I got a spacious studio instead. Bf and I fantasized about moving in, but I always declined as I felt it was too early. Well, screw me sideways, after 2 months in the studio, I caved. I felt pressured, but didn't realize it at the time. He wasn't directly pressuring me-he just wouldn't stop talking and fantasizing about it, I don't know why, but I let it happen. Me, miss independent, let her bf move in. I was afraid for many reasons-lack of privacy, lack of intimacy, lack of everything-and slowly, but surely, they all became true in one way or another. A few months in, our couple's massages stopped. Around this time, he also quit helping cleaning the house unless I nagged for him to help me out in something we ALREADY discussed would be his responsibilty chore-wise! Eventually, he began shooting down my advances for sex. Instead, he will screw me when he wants to, whether or not i am in the mood, and he feels it is justified. (Why, you ask? I divulged in him, one tipsy night together, of a passing "rape fantasy" I had from time to time, now he just whips it out whenever he sees fit.) He asks me for a blowjob EVERY MORNING as soon as he wakes up. I used to be happy to oblige, but now I'm angry, as I feel he's turned something I love doing into something I hate. He complains about the place being a mess, but he can't make the bed or toss the trash until I ask. He's upset about me being tired during the day, yet he knows I work 3rd shift! He's been unemployed about 60% of our relationship, but claims he has taken me on "an equal number, (if not more) dates." In reality, I have spoiled him, paid for the majority of dates completely, and i pay basically all the bills. But he throws a hissy fit if i ask him for a measly massage! He SAYS he loves me, he SAYS he doesn't take me for granted, he SAYS he will pay me back for the bills I've covered, he SAYS we will have more sex. But now, I don't even want to have sex with him. Nothing about him turns me on anymore. Instead of being nice to me, he pushes my buttons on purpose. He pokes fun at me on a regular basis. Can i take a joke? Of course I can take a joke! Can i take multiple jokes at my expense on a regular basis with nothing but a "chill out babe" to cope with it? No! I feel so stuck. Everytime I tell him how i feel, he doesn't listen or try to fix it with me. Its "well YOU do it to, so who cares?" And nothing is resolved. Even after all this, I'm still too much of a wimp to just dump him, because its too hard and too painful to watch him leave what we attempted to build together. I'm a wreck and am clueless about what to do next. My lease is up March 31st and my boyfriend keeps talking about a future together, but I feel so taken for granted and he keeps telling me I'm not. I don't have the guts to make myself happy :(

too painful to watch him leave what we attempted to build together.