Experience: Outdoor Retail Manager
successfully founded anti-sexism campaign to allow female employees the right to do roof rack installations. Am now sole roof rack installer, as employer has recognized superior skill, and is now skeptical of current employees’ abilities, regardless of gender.
pioneered anti-sexism campaign to allow female employees the right to do climbing wall instruction. Retired from climbing wall instruction after one year, as was not compensated for additional skill set and found late-night hours and gender-based restrictions such as “must have any random male present to close out” unconscionable.
survived chastisement for “baby talk” while murmuring lyrics to Simon and Garfunkel’s At The Zoo and dusting climbing chalk from merchandise, voluntarily. Calmly explained that if singing is offensive, will stop, but just so we’re clear, it’s Simon and Garfunkel. (And I can carry a tune in a bucket.)
endured being called “too loud and giddy” because was laughing with co-workers while boss was attempting to sweet talk busty blonde woman who was clearly uninterested. Calmly explain that we, as employees, are happy to do whatever needs to be done, but don’t bullshit us; “if you want us to do something, ask us to do it; if you want to tell us we’re laughing too loudly, moderate yourself first. You are a really loud person, especially when you laugh.”
expert precision in indentifying those customers whom boss will want to personally fit for harness and/or stretch ski pants. (5’4>, 110> lbs, blonde, 32C, age 14-35.)
Laundromat Manager
Held my tongue during story about how markedly younger employee did not wish to date employer and was subsequently fired due to being “not a good fit” for our work environment.
Neatly folded thongs and fitted bed sheets.
My current boss is going through a divorce now and he’s banging my mum. And trying to keep it a secret from me, and I’m just…I’m so done. I’m so done, ladies. I need to get out of here. This isn’t my actual resume, but it’s the resume I’d like to write right now.