This is so frustrating and I wish I knew better how to change men's attitudes about this.

For years I tried to get my boyfriend to do an even share of the cleaning as we were both working and going to school the same amount. We had so many conversations about it but it ended up being impossible. He'd agree that he should be doing his share but then just never would.

It was bad. Like, when the garbage was full instead of changing it he would just pile things on top of it until it overflowed enough to create a whole new bag's worth, then I was the one who had to pick it all up by hand. If I wanted him to do anything I'd have to make it really specific like "please take out the garbage" and then maybe 3 days later he'd finally do it, but only if I had nagged him to for the whole 3 days. I hate nagging!

Maybe the only solution is to stop raising boys like this. He told me that his grandma taught him to sweep dirt under a rug, meanwhile they were sending his sister to etiquette classes.

Now he works a lot more than me so it's fair that I do all the cleaning, but jeeze if our situation hadn't changed it might have been the end of our relationship. I still hold so much resentment towards him for being so inconsiderate all those years.

And it also still sucks because I know everything I do around the house goes unappreciated, as he's never had to take care of a house so he has no idea how much work it is. Things are just magically clean for him and he has no idea how, like once he spilled some stuff and said "maybe we should get a broom." 5 YEARS INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP AND WE'D HAD A BROOM THE WHOLE TIME HOLY SHIT

Anyway thanks for letting me rant. I do hope you can work things out, I only wish I had some advice!