I second what 0toyot0 said. Asking someone with this kind of thing to "just learn to deal with it" won't really help. relating to your first point, you think a mother that completely disregards their childs mental and physical well being by demoralizing and beating them when a panic attack ensues is gonna have any natural empathy to have remorse and say "man, I really just have some bad behavior." down the road?

The problem is that they don't see anything they're doing as being wrong in the first place as a deep-ingrained belief. I think sometimes, people in these situations need to get out and separate themselves from whats causing problems. I believe that when it comes to abusive relationships, regardless of if it's a SO, parents, or just friends, that getting out is the best medicine in the longrun if all else has failed.

OP def needs to seek support from friends or professionals willing to help the situation. Abuse is wrong, no matter what the situation and it should never just be ignored