I am not wanting for anyone to suffer as I did, I only wish for them to know that what happens if you take the path I took and in my country help against violence could cost you and I didn't have the money for it and I advise any young Muslim to get help.BTW my parents were very harsh on me but now they are nice and admit to their mistakes and even say that I am a blessing to them.

And the ticket to heaven thing is just to explain that if there is no other help you can get like my circumstances your only resort is to find inner peace in some way. I am sorry if I didn't explain my intentions correctly because I am not a decently taught non native English speaker.