my 14 year old daughter having casual sex

I started having sex with my boyfriend at 14. We dated for several years. He was an honors student, captain of the tennis and hockey team, huge pothead, but overall a nice guy. Last I heard he is a veterinarian.

My regrets- not being able to talk to my religious mother. I was terrified of them finding out I was sexually active, therefore, terrified of her, which resulted in a bad relationship. I would definitely keep an open dialogue.

Not being on birth control. Please take her to the doctor and get her an IUD. Otherwise it was a positive experience for me. First love, first heartbreak, I learned a lot and turned out alright.

So,

My little sister had a somewhat similar story to your daughter. She is currently a very well rounded college student, goes to church and doesn't drink and has been dating the captain of her college hockey team for years.

But man if she didn't like losers from age 13-17. Just awful guys and I heard horrible things about her and awful names being called. I hate to say it, but we kind of shamed her out of that... I reminded her that she is pretty and smart enough to get any guy, but that she'll never get a good one because nobody will want her because of the things guys will say about her in the locker room. (The kind of things I worried about at 14.) This one guy she was just obsessed with and dated for a year was older, mean, and just horrific. I told her when I was in school with him nobody liked him and he's trashy and that's why he's going after young, easy, you and no guys will want to date you after you went out with him. Two days later, he was dumped.

Looking back... That probably sounds harsh. But what she's after is attention and approval from boys. She needs to understand that isn't wrong to want to have sex with a guy, but she's going about it in a really idiotic way.

/r/Parenting Thread