It’s natural to blame the other party only. But walk a moment in his shoes.

There is no way to say what he said without making her feel as uncomfortable as he felt.

His dilemma is to shame her or shame his boys. He probably felt that since it was his home, it’s his rules. The boys were passive in this. Your daughter brought the situation into their space. Not intentionally. So how to say this delicately? He sounds like a “Be direct” straight shooter.

If he hadn’t said something, your daughter would not know how uncomfortable all the males in the room felt. She would have learned nothing. At least she now received a safe lesson in a safe space in front of a safe audience. Context dictates fashion (unless the intention is to disrupt/stir).