My [18M] close friend revealed she [20F] cheated on her now ex, who wasn’t good at all.

Exactly, the excuses they give are usually post hoc rationalisations. Perfection is an unattainable goal, so anyone can theoretically fixate on your foibles and use them as an excuse for cheating on you. It’s a rigged game and something that people should be wary of.

You’re also completely right about responsibility. If someone is hell-bent on deflecting, they’re trying to absolve themselves of responsibility. Only after you accept full responsibility for your evil actions can you change in any meaningful sense.

It seems that OP is trying to explain away all answers that conflict with his near and dear beliefs. I suppose it’s understandable that people try to make sense of pursuing something that they want to pursue. It’s a shame that feelings obfuscate our logical understanding and otherwise good judgement for evaluating situations.

/r/relationships Thread Parent