My [20 F] ex and I [21 M] want to start fresh but don't see eye to eye on friends of the opposite sex.

The thing is you have to put your trust in her over everything. She slept with 2 people while you were not dating so you do not get to hold that against her. i also agree with anothwmer user that you should be mad with your friend Steve.

Trust me I get it. It can be nerve racking when trust issues come up because of insecurities or past issues. I just recently went through my first trust issue problem recently with my boyfriend.

He stayed up until 5 am with one of our female friends trying to help her with something she was going through ( I was upstairs sleeping in his bed). I had a problem with this but for the longest time I couldn't figure out why. So, I called him to talk about it. I told him that I trusted him but I have this nagging feeling that won't go away. He explained that that was ok because he's had it and I have a lot of guy friends. He has no problem with me hanging out with them by myself. I do it all the time because he knows I won't cheat him. So when we were done talking I felt better because I trust him more than anything but yea that nagging little voice will always be there saying that something happened. But when that occurs you have to breathe let it go and trust them because if you don't, you become controlling.

All in all, you do not trust her because of you did she would be able to hang out with whoever.

Here's another piece of advice, just because you would do something that you would think is respectful (ie not going out 1 on 1 with a female coworker) does not mean that someone else thinks the same thing. For example, a girl I know was mad at her boyfriend for waiting an hour for a haircut when she wouldn't wait an hour to get her done. We had to explain to her that just because she wouldn't do it does me that he wouldn't. He may have no problem with waiting an hour.

I hope this helps, OP. I kind of rambled on but here are the main points : -trust issues happen but you do not get to be controlling -things that happen during a breakup do not get to be held against someone -don't expect people to do the same things for you that you would for them. That's how you get left disappointed.

Good luck.

/r/relationships Thread