Thanks for the extra info, your post did not convey how far apart you two are. Regardless though, you know the saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions? Well, the road to your breakup was paved with them too. When a tragedy like this strikes in a persons life, especially a daughter because of the connection they have to their mother, it takes a lot out of a person which is why it is so important that they receive comfort and support far more than they have ever had or needed. You instead were busy going about your own day and making arrangements with girls that you already knew were a sore spot for your ex. Why would you have put more grief on her burdened shoulders? You tried to justify it by saying that they are completely platonic etc etc but if you knew that it's a sore spot why poke it? Because you were thinking selfishly, most likely.

I am going just off of what you have written of course, but it seems like you have guilt laying on your chest that you are trying to find justification for. Your username implies you feel poorly about yourself and what occurred between the two of you, and your writing makes me feel as if you are pleading with the internet to be told that you didn't do anything wrong and you want to blame it on something else (her grief).

Look guy, I think that you tried the best in your own way but it simply is not up to par with what was needed for the situation. Listen to and understand what she is telling you. Really see her actions. She is ignoring you and giving curt answers. Why? She probably has so much other stuff on her plate that to deal with you on top of it is too much. She's protecting herself from you and any future complications your good intentions create. Let her do that. You need to grow and mature and take this as a life lesson.