My (22F) boyfriend thinks I’m being naive to my professor’s (38M) ‘inappropriate’ behaviour

Eh, hard to tell. It's probably a bit of both but probably ultimately harmless.

You said you detected a bit of sexual tension. It takes two for that, yeah? If so, he could feel about you the same as you feel about him - a certain fondness, a mild attraction, but nothing worth ruining your life over. You've got a boyfriend and he's got a family and you've both got a significant age gap.

It's possible to be attracted to someone and to not act on it, to know better. That's fine. It's responsible. You simultaneously acknowledge it and ignore it.

If you aren't sure, just get some distance in there. Don't respond to every text, keep it on topic when you meet, etc. If he's thinking of making a big mistake in his life, don't make it easy for him.

As for your boyfriend, just because your other friends see the same things doesn't mean he's not also jealous. Jealousy doesn't require someone to be mistaken about what they see (another person's interest in their SO), it just requires that they be insecure about that interest. Jealousy is insecurity. If he was confident in your relationship he could joke about this professor while feeling no pressure.

In any case, I wouldn't sweat any of this too much. Do what feels right. You are young, you can't really make any significant mistakes here. This is all just learning experiences that will make you better in the future.

/r/relationship_advice Thread