My (22M) girlfriend (23F) hooked up with someone early on as we started to date, I found out months later and she convinced me not to break up even though I couldn't forgive her, and now I'm about to move across the country to live with her

I understand your anger, actually. From your perspective, you put much more effort in establishing a relationship and was put on hanging, while the other guy simply flaked and was able to get sex right away. To you, it denotes that you are not as sexually desirable to her as the other guy.

Every one wants a different kind of love. You want a love that is starts from traditional courtship to a stable relationship. You want her to not have sex with guys who court her until the guy with the most effort wins her over. You think of love as winning and losing. She does not think of love that way; to her, it is more about trying out different people until she finds someone suitable.

There is no right or wrong in love, only two people with compatible love styles. Her style is not compatible with yours. Think very carefully about whether you love her enough to change yourself and your perspective on love enough to be with her. Otherwise, break up. It's better to be clear and absolute than indecisive and resentful. She will not appreciate your resentment.

/r/relationship_advice Thread