My [23F] boyfriend [23M] of 4 years and his family just told me they’re going on my dream vacation and I don’t know how to deal with my jealousy

I can completely empathize with you. I had a dream vacation where I always wanted to go to Thailand with my husband, and he'd always refused saying he had no interest in going, and that it wasn't going to happen. I had been there years before with my best friend, but I loved it more than anything, and wanted to return and share my favourite place with him. He was adamant he had no interest in going. One day he casually mentioned he was going there on a stag with his friends. Not only that, it was at his suggestion.

I completely understand how much of a kick in the gut it is, because it was torture watching him research and book hotels/activities for my dream vacation without me.

The only advice I have is that you have to look at it as a separate trip. It's not your dream vacation you're missing because even if you went on it, it'd be nothing like the trip you wanted. You'd just be tagging along doing things other people want to do. The jealousy is okay, you don't need to feel badly about being jealous. It's a real emotion, and you're entitled to feel it. Have a good sulk about it, then maybe set about making your dream come true. Even if you can't go for five years, give yourself permission to get excited and start planning it out now.

There are plenty of English teaching jobs where all you need is a degree and they pay your wage and accommodations. Or you could be an au pair. I stayed in Spain as an au pair, and all I paid for was my flights. I also got a weekly wage to go out and do things on my own.

It gets much harder to go out on big trips once you get older. Career, marriage and kids always seem to get in the way. Nows the perfect time, so stop putting your dream on hold :)

/r/relationships Thread